Trapped in Korea: Episode Five

Today I accomplished nothing and yet, I feel accomplished. I woke up late, not leaving myself enough time to get my workout in. So, I took a nice long shower instead. Once I got to work, I found we were backed up on broken stuff. I jumped right in and started troubleshooting and managed to get no where. I proved that every component is good despite the fact that it can't pass any of our tests. We gave up working about an hour early and just sat around discussing 80's movies, mainly because my credibility as an 80's child was questioned. So despite getting nothing accomplished for the day, today was what I would consider a good day, anymore.

Trapped in Korea: Episode Four

Have you ever wondered how to get an entire military base to go from normal to instant freak out with out passing go? yeah, me neither. However, I do have the answer. Its as simple as posting something on our local broadcast channel that simply states "real world recall condition 3C". That is all it takes. Leave out any useful information and, above all, don't tell anyone anything about what is going on.
In cases such as this people see the words "real world" and immediately stop thinking and start freaking out. Now, if anyone had bothered to look up what "condition 3C" meant they would have no cause to freak out. This, of course, didn't happen. So me being confused by the IM I got from my flight chief simply saying "real world recall, contact the shop immediately" kind of worried me. The best part is that when I called my shop no one had any idea about a recall at all. So I went in to find out details and the building was one step shy of locked down. They were on full freak out mode and, ready to jump into ludicrous at a moments notice. Everyone just sitting around waiting for something to happen. It wasn't until hours later that we would learn the whole thing was due to a mechanical problem on an F-15 causing him to land on only two of his three landing gear. Everyone is fine, except the jet. This situation had nothing to do with my line of work and, could have been relayed to me in an e-mail after the fact. Honestly, I would have been none the wiser. This is a case of some one having the power over the big, shiny, red, freak out button and, jumping the gun on pushing it. But hey, whats a little elevated blood pressure among co-workers.
Oh, more good news from the week. A few NCOs heard me calling Airman "minions" instead of Airman. Now, there is a growing number of people referring to Airman as minions.
My weekend has been kind of lame. I spent all day today surfing the internet and, didn't even get a tan. Also, I saw no waves.

Trapped in Korea: Episode Three

Today I reached my limit. I was tested and I failed. Today for the fifth time in two months I was called upon to provide a urine sample for a random drug test. A very important inventory for one of my additional duties was lost, only to turn up later in a very inappropriate spot. To round out the day I called a staff sergeant a "fucking jackass" loud enough that people emptied out of their offices to see what the commotion was. When I was told to control myself I simply responded with "I did".
No, today is not what I would call a good day. Considering the "yuck" that was today started last night when I got home from soccer practice, wanting only to take a nice hot shower. Only to find out that since, the temperature dropped to the mid thirties, the hot water for the building was out. So I decided to get up early. Enabling myself to shower before work. This morning the water was even colder, as if to mock me in some sick form of foreshadowing for the day. Then to arrive at work to find a very important inventory was "missing". We stopped working on everything to search for it. The search was only stopped when I received my phone call for a "mandatory appointment", which really only means one thing. So I had to walk the two and a half miles to our squadron, to pick up a little letter telling me to report to a building on the other side of base. All so that I could once again pee in a cup. So three miles to the clinic, three miles back to the squadron and two and a half back to the shop and, there went my morning. I arrived in the shop in time to go to lunch. After lunch I gave up on the search for the inventory and started the process of making a new one because, no one ever bothered to make a digital copy. About four pages into the 173 page process shift turn over started. Upon completion of the regular shift inventory the 173 page inventory we had lost, was found. In the bottom of the safe. When it was set on my desk I was told "you may want to talk to...". The thought was never completed. I immediately turned to the Staff Sergeant who opened the safe this morning and blurted out "you fucking jackass!" before I could walk away and, walk away I did. However, the moron followed me and asked, "what did I do?". To which there was only one response, "obviously not your job! You failed to actually check the safe this morning." I proceeded to explain, rather loudly that I had been looking for the binder that was found in the safe, all morning. Also, that there was no way he could have missed it, if he had in fact checked the safe. The argument was broken up by a Master Sergeant who's office is all the way on the other side of our rather large shop. The Master Sergeant told me I need to restrain myself, I explained that I did. I finished the thought in my head, "The moron is still alive, I think that shows tremendous restraint."
To some this whole exchange may seem like an over reaction to a simple mistake. However, there are a few things that should be explained. For starters, if our safe had been inspected today it would have failed thanks to the binder being in there when it shouldn't be. That means 24 hr coverage for the shop, straight through the weekend. Second, it would have been only one persons fault, the idiot who "checked" the safe. Which means that he pencil whipped yet another inspection, something this Sergeant is well known for doing. Third, this Staff Sergeant is the same one that I reported not even a month ago for being outwardly, openly racist. He and I worked together for six weeks, just the two of us on a shift. We were separated because, I reported him. I found out this morning that in the midst of him most likely getting kicked out of the Air Force for his racist comments, our flight is nominating him for NCO of the quarter. An award which is supposed to be given to the best of the best NCOs.
Needless to say at this point, I am close to ripping the stripes and Air Force badge of my uniform and throwing them at my supervisor as I walk out.

Trapped in Korea: Episode Two

Today I found the key to the perfect Air Force career. Sad to say but, the answer is a magic eight ball. I will give pause to let that sink in then, explain. I picked up a package today from the post office. It was a care package from my parents, thank you Mom and Dad. The contents of the package was listed as "toy and, candy". Immediately my curiosity was peaked. Trying my hardest not to do any real work in the day, since I am now on day shift again. Also, it really bothers a particular sergeant when I spend the day in-front of a computer instead of in-front of the test station computer. Its my way of punishing him for giving me so much additional work and, making me work with a certain individual. Anyways, getting this thought back on track, there was a toy in the care package from my parents. So upon returning to work after lunch I opened said package to find a plethora of candy and, a tiny magic eight ball. A coworker and I played with it briefly, asking questions about the upcoming inspection and, the possibility of passing it. Amused for a few minutes we returned to work, him to his test station and I to my desk. I placed the magic eight ball in-front for my monitor and continued with my work.
Soon there after, the sergeant I enjoy torturing by doing desk work came out of his office and ask "are you going to do any work today?" With out missing the opportunity and, wanting to show off my new toy, I reached for the magic eight ball and turned it over. The answer it gave was simple. So, with a smile, I read the answer out loud. It read "doubt it". The sergeant just looked stunned, turned, and walked back into his office.
Some might say that this one situation was simply a coincidence. However, these kind of things continued the rest of the day. We had a small exercise today. In the set-up for the exercise our instructions said to consider certain things. So we asked the magic eight ball for an answer. Ten minutes later we were informed that we had to set-up a certain way. That just so happened to be the way the magic eight ball said to set things up. Not convincing enough? While working my additional duties I started getting asked all about programs that I am not a part of. Without looking up a single reference, answer after answer came only from the eight ball. Every answer later verified to be true, so I continued. When asked about programs I was on, I answered from the eight ball, not a reference. Every answer proven true later on. For the record: this is actually how I spent my afternoon. When I was asked how late I was staying today the eight ball provided my answer, "No".
At this point I am convinced of two things. The first, being that if I were to stay in the Air Force I would never be without a magic eight ball again. The second, is that I am pretty sure the people who established, as well as those currently running the Air Force use a magic eight ball to do it.

The life and Times of Me; Trapped in Korea: Episode one

So there has been many happenings on the peninsula as of late. I have been kept rather busy with work and all. I attempt to keep at least Faith in loop of the goings on. I know that I am failing at that. Usually the message that is passed on to everyone else is "Joe is good." So it hits me the other day, as I walking across base on my way to yet another long day of work, I have a blog... I should use it!
So that being said here is the update. For me not much has changed, until I look back and realize that nothing is the same as it was. There is a rather important base wide inspection happening here in about a week. They is a large group of people coming to not only inspect how we do business on the day to day but, also our additional duties, those being all the little things we do besides our regular jobs. I am sure you all remember me complaining about how short manned we have been as of late as well. These two facts have led to myself ending up with a majority of the additional duties in my work center. All of which require a lot of work to get them up to minimal AF standards, or at least close enough that I can fake it. Needless to say I have been reading volume after volume of regulations and learning a ton of new information. The masochist in me is enjoying every second of it. Just a second things get even better. The work center was briefed that we are not to be working on our additional duties on "company" time. This means that if I wanted to get things done I would have to either come in early or stay late. This information filtered its way into my brain and got stored in a file that I like to call my "things to mention in my letter of resignation" folder. Which, by the way, I do have a letter of resignation typed up and saved to a computer at work. You never know when that might come in handy. My response to this mess was to ignore it and continue devoting a majority of my time to the programs and almost none to the pods. Its paying off, the programs are looking great. A few minor snags with our flights vehicle program. A few more minor snags with people who don't know the programs trying to tell me how to run things. However, if all goes well, I will be handing over control of all of the programs in three weeks to the new flight support section.
Other than work being well...work I have been doing some traveling with friends of mine. We have been to two amusement parks and just today got back from a weekend up at Osan air base. It was all very fun. I have more than a few pictures that require posting to the facebook page soon.

Such is life